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What's Different Now

This is my list of things I’ve noticed that have changed in the last few months, Breath. Now I carry mints so I don’t have to smell my own breath inside my mask. What was that I ate for lunch, a sweaty sock and coffee grinds? Yuk.

Haircuts. My boys and I were going to this fancy barbershop before they were forced to close and between the three of us, the cost was $100 . . . plus tip. A few months ago I bought a set of clippers (for $28) and we started cutting each others’ hair. At first it looked like a drunk and blind person did it. Then just a drunk person. Now we are all sporting cuts that look like they were done by someone who had a wine spritzer, or two. Oh, and I’ve noticed a lot of people have decided (not always by choice) to reveal their real hair color. Gray is the new blonde.

Outdoor Dining. I think it’s great restaurants can expand and serve us outside. However, it’s a little like camping (or glamping). It’s civilized, but you’re still at the mercy of the elements. There are bugs, humidity, and market lights strung inches from your head—plus the drinks get watered down when it rains. It truly is curbside service. When seated outside in a makeshift stall, I always sit facing the oncoming traffic because I want to down my drink before it’s too late—or take it to go, which used to only be allowed in New Orleans, Key West, and Vegas. I’ll say this, it would be a good time to be a plexiglass salesman or a carpenter who specializes in using reclaimed wood.