Have you ever felt like an imposter and thought, “Who am I kidding?” This is followed by a series of self-defeating thoughts about how you aren’t good enough to do this or that. If this happens from time to time, you’re normal. If it’s held you back your whole life, then I have some fresh ideas for you—and me. Especially me.
When I look back and honestly access my life I have to admit that a lack of confidence has stunted my growth. (No jokes about my height necessary.) I won’t go into detail because this isn’t a pity party, it’s just an acknowledgment that for anyone reading this who hasn’t fulfilled their full potential (yet), I’m right there with you. So let’s work on this together.
Will You Please Sit Up Straight?
Ha! My parents were right (again) when they told me to sit and stand up straight. Just putting your chin up and chest out and walking “tall” makes you look and feel more confident.
Maybe The Grass is Greener on the Other Side… Because It’s Fake
Comparing yourself to others is a losing proposition. If you ever catch the Joneses they just refinance at a lower interest rate. Instead, compete against yourself.
This Really is the Land of Plenty
“Finish your sandwich, people in Africa are starving.” When I heard that I knew nobody was going to get my leftovers, but I started to believe in scarcity. We must embrace abundance. There is plenty of everything to go around and if we get ours it doesn’t mean someone else is left out—or even left with less.
Watch Your MouthWhat did you say?
If someone said some of the negative and nasty stuff we say to ourselves we’d tell them to shut up. So why is it okay to belittle ourselves? Watch what you say… to yourself.
What Would Jimmy Buffett Do?
How did Jimmy Buffett go from broke to billionaire? The question isn’t how, it’s why. Buffett knew his “why” (escapism) and he rode Margaritaville for all it was worth—a lot. Our why is what defines us, drives us, and keeps us centered. Don’t let the alarm clock be the only reason you wake up in the morning. Find something bigger than yourself to push you past your fears.
You Do You
Authenticity is underrated. When you live your truth it’s your superpower. Trying to be someone you’re not does not inspire confidence. When you know what brings out the best in you, what makes you unique, and how you prefer to do things it’s liberating.
Get a Clue
When a person just like you has done what you want to do it can give you the confidence to go for it. Following in the wake of others who have gone before is inspiring—and informative.
Find Your Inner MacGuyver
MacGuyver is a fictional television character who could solve most problems with a paperclip. (I’m only slightly exaggerating.) When we are resourceful and look at problems as opportunities to learn, grow, and show off our cleverness, we gain confidence each time we overcome one.
Oprah Said It Best
When you focus on what you have, you’ll always have more. When you focus on what you don’t have, you’ll always have less. Those are Oprah’s words, and they ring true. Starting each day by thinking of a few things we are grateful for is a self-esteem builder.
Just Jump
When my nephew was eleven we swam from La Jolla Shores to The Cove to jump off a 30-foot cliff. He climbed up first and when I got to the top to tell him where to launch from he looked at me, winked, and jumped. I know, bad uncle. Sometimes it’s better to act and react. To take a leap of faith (like Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade). Just going for it and trusting things will work out is the secret to many who’ve done great things.
You Look Marvelous“Don’t wear skinny jeans if you don’t have skinny genes,” said Will Farrell. Wear what is flattering, fits your body type, projects the image you want, and makes you feel confident.
Do Your Homework
Most people would rather be in the coffin than give the eulogy at a funeral. What helps build confidence when asked to speak in public (or do anything we’re afraid of) is prep work. Knowledge is power, so do your homework. Practice makes perfect…sense. The more we rehearse the more confident we become. Last, but in no way least, is to prepare for the worst. Run through the worst-case scenario and have a back up plan—or two.
Do The Right Thing
Remember that song, Somebody’s Watching Me by Roswell? I think we should pretend someone is always watching so even if we’re tempted to cut corners or push the envelope of what’s right, we stop ourselves. Confidence comes from knowing we always did the right thing. Plus, karma is a… real thing. What? You thought I was gonna say something else?
Play to Your StrengthsWhen we incorporate our strengths in what we do we go in with confidence. Sure, we should push ourselves past our comfort zone from time to time, but when we can say, “I got this” there’s a lot less stress and much more bravado.
Think Confident: Expect the best. Trust the Universe will provide.
Act Confident: Take action knowing things will work out—they always do.
Look Confident: Dress your best and keep chin up and chest out.
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